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November 17, 2005
My Lack of Sports Skillz
Alright - we got this Ping Pong table at work. The official line is that it's our new conference room table, but let's face it - it's a way kick ass Killerspin Ping Pong table. And yet suddenly, I find myself at a major disadvantage.
I often tell the story of the greatest game of bowling I ever rolled. Very first frame I was up, I rolled a strike. And that was the only scoring I did the entire game. Sports and me...well let's just say that it was never really meant to be. I'd spent my childhood dreaming of being a professional ballplayer, but recognizing that if I was going to do anything in sports, I would be the young Jewish GM wunderkind. Wait - that's Theo (Please please PLEASE come to DC...that's for another post). Often when I play MVP Baseball on my Playstation, I find myself more interested in pretending to be the General Manager - making trades, signing free agents, drafting new players, working on building a farm system. Sure the gameplay is fun, but the business side is so interesting. I once built a Washington Nationals roster with Mark Loretta, Lance Berkman, Nick Johnson, David "Big Papi" Ortiz, Pedro Martinez, Chad Cordero, & Albert Puljois. Noticeably, I had a LOT of firstbasemen. But that was more interesting to me than actually playing.
I'm getting off my rant and talking baseball.
Anyways - so we have this Ping Pong table. Suddenly I'm transported back to Elementary School. I was ALWAYS the last kid picked. I was in Gifted classes. There were LOTS of nerdy unathletic kids in there. And I was always the last one picked. Alright - so I was destined to own the team, not play on it. I often could console myself with the fact that I was smarter than the other kids.
Well - the NGP Ping Pong table (and by some extension softball team and whatnot) have served to transport me back to that simpler time of always being the last one picked. Except there's one problem - I work in an office of exceptionally intelligent people. Dear God - I'm not the smartest one here! Not by a LONG SHOT! Oh man. For a fleeting moment those feelings of insecurity came back - I wasn't much of an athlete, and I had nothing to console myself with. Then I beat one of the web developers. Ha ha! I wasn't the worst player! Then I played the lead web developer (and blog roll member) Chris. He kicked my ass. Then we played a rematch. He didn't quite kick my ass as much - but still kicked it thoroughly!
Yes I lose - but then I came to a realization. I'm not a loser - I'm just streaky. I have moments of sheer brilliance on the table. I can take a 7 point lead against some of the best players....well alright, against the web developer guy again. But then I still choke! I still lose!!!! This is Washington! There must be SOME way I can spin this!
So I reached a conclusion. I blame my parents. Instead of getting me a Ping Pong table they got me a computer. But then if I wasn't good with a computer, I wouldn't have this job - and therefore I wouldn't know how much I sucked at Ping Pong. Alright - so I can't blame them (I like the job after all). Hmmm...
Wait! I've got it! I blame bowling!!!! That accursed sport made me realize that I'm terrible at sports! That must be it! I hereby shoot the messenger!
Posted by MikeSager at November 17, 2005 9:42 PM
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Comments
I think the truth is that you took a sub-concious, but intentional fall to allow an old man a sweet taste of victory.
I also have a theory that seniority comes into play on the office ping-pong table. In my half-dozen games I have yet to defeat somone more senior than me, or lose to someone who has joined the company after me. Coincidence?
Regardless, I'm glad I caught you on a losing streak :-)
Posted by: Chris Casey at November 18, 2005 8:38 AM
And that, my friend, is why I have mastered the art of surrounding myself with people who don't care for sports one jot or tittle. ;-)
Posted by: Miss Rose at November 21, 2005 4:50 PM
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